This isn’t a post that anyone wants to write.  This isn’t a post that anyone wants to read.  Cancer isn’t a fun, happy topic like recipes or weight loss or organizing.  It’s a stinky part of life.  No one wants to go through it.  And no one wants their family or friends to go through it.

But, it happens.  And it happens to about 1.7 million Americans a year.  That’s a lot of people.  And that’s even more loved ones around those people that are affected.  Often when someone tells you “I have cancer.”, your first thought is “How can I help?”  Sometimes the person has a need that you can meet.  But they won’t often tell you.

We’ve recently had someone in our life diagnosed with cancer.  I won’t share details publicly because it isn’t my story to tell.  It’s theirs.  But my reaction to the news was the same as most other people.  “How can I help?”  The answer I got was, of course, “We’re fine.”  And that was true – in the beginning of the journey.  But as the cancer path unfolds, there are needs that we can meet.  So I did some research to dream up some ideas of how we can help this person in our life.  And today, I’m sharing that.

There are over 80 ideas to help get your brain thinking of what you can do.  What you’ll be able to help with will differ based upon a lot of factors:

• Your relationship with that person
• Their prognosis
• The other people in their life
• Their type of cancer and the treatment that they’ll undergo
• Whether they’re physically close to you
• Whether they’re emotionally close to you.

But I hope at least some of these are helpful to you.

Without further ado, here’s the list:

(Click here to download it as a .pdf to save or print!)

How To Help Someone With Cancer

• Make them a chemo care package. A quick Google search will give you ideas that are helpful.
• Write them a note of encouragement. Just one time.    Weekly.  Daily.
• Fund a getaway, if they’re feeling well enough. Even if it’s just a hotel in their own city.
• Go with them to chemo.
• Go with them to radiation.
• Get them a little gift. Examples:
  • Hard candies, especially for those going through chemo.
  • Books. Large-print can be especially helpful for those going through chemo as it may affect their eyesight.
  • Magazines for doctor’s appointments, waiting rooms and passing time, especially for those that are off work.
  • Scarves and warm socks as body temperature experiences changes.
  • Cozy blankets are loved by all, even non-cancer patients
  • Water or re-useable water bottles for staying hydrated.
  • Puzzle books like cross-word puzzles or Sudoku for helping to pass the time.
  • Comfy clothes like pants or shirts that allow easy access for medical treatments or for recuperating at home.
  • Cancer-kicking shirts or merchandise for showing a positive attitude.
  • Gas gift cards as there can be a lot of travel involved.
  • Netflix
  • Amazon gift certificates for downloading e-books.
  • Pedicure or manicure
  • Balloon bouquets will brighten someone’s day.
  • Silk flowers as it won’t irritate sense of smell or overwhelm or pose a health risk.
  • Funny movies can lighten the mood.
  • Video games.
  • Board games – those that can be played alone (like card games) or with a small group.
  • Roll of quarters for vending machines.
  • Headphones for blocking out noise during chemo or doctor’s appointments or for communicating “It’s okay not to talk to me.”
  • Heating pads can be a lifesaver for post-treatment.
• Run errands for them. Examples include:
  • Buy them standard household Toilet paper.  Paper towels. Pasta. Cleaning supplies.
  • Return library books and/or check out new ones for them.
  • Drop things off at the post office.
  • Drop off or pick up dry cleaning.
  • Cook them a meal.   Lunch.  Dinner. Snacks.  Ask if their tastes have changed or if they have diet restrictions.
  • Line up meals for them. TakeThemAMeal.com is helpful for this.
  • Help them shop for others – things that they usually do like spouse’s/partner’s/kid’s birthdays. Anniversaries. Easter.  Halloween.  Wedding/Shower gifts.
  • Have groceries Either staples or things that make for easy meals.
• Go on a walk with them. Let them walk at their pace.
• Educate yourself on their cancer or treatment. Not so that you can make decisions for them, but so that they have someone to talk to and so that they don’t have to explain everything every time.
• Host family that may be in town visiting.
• Just spend time with them. Sit with them at home.  Don’t force them to make conversation, just BE with them.
• Arrange for a card shower, where others in their life sends them cards.
• Take care of something around the house. You don’t even need to see to it yourself, you can arrange for someone else to take care of it, such as:
  • Clean
  • Spring cleaning.
  • Mow lawn.
  • Shovel snow.
  • Change & wash linens or
  • Fix something that’s broken.
  • Get
  • Take care of their
  • Plant annuals if they have a spot for them.
  • Take out their trash. Especially if you’re their neighbor.
  • Wash their car.
  • Rake Don’t even need to ask.  Just do it.
  • Do a load of laundry. You can take it to your house and return it a couple of hours later, already done and folded.
• If they have children, help is probably greatly appreciated! Help such as:
  • Babysit during their appointments or so they can rest or so they can go out with their spouse/partner or so that they can run errands more easily.
  • Help with school drop off & pick up.
  • Help with before or after school care.
  • Buy back-to-school clothes.
  • Buy back-to-school supplies.
  • Buy holiday clothing like outfits for Christmas or Easter – if the family does that.
  • Notify the kids’ teachers/counselors so that the parents don’t have to.
  • Take the kids out “just because” – ice cream or to a sporting event.
  • Help kids with homework.
  • Take their kids to their lessons or sports practices. Or help find another child on those team(s) whose family might be able to help.
• Helping with pets can ease a burden too. Such as:
  • Change litter boxes. Not a fun task anyway, but even less so when you’re more sensitive to smells.
  • Take pets for walks.
  • Make sure they have pet food. Most people wouldn’t think of Fido or Fifi when sending a meal or buying groceries.
  • Take pets to the vet if they’re due for a visit or are sick.
  • Pet sit if the patient has to be away for a while or if their unable to care for their pets the way that they want.
• Celebrate the milestones. First radiation, halfway points, last radiation, first chemo, last chemo, etc.
• Help them cut or shave their hair – if they’re going to lose their hair anyway.
• Pray for them and with them, if they’re comfortable with that.
• Fundraise for them if they need.
• Take their caregiver(s) out to give them a break.
• If it turns out that their cancer is terminal and they want help with certain end-of-life activities, walk through that with them, as best you can. Such as:
  • Help them organize papers, especially things like life insurance or disability plans.
  • Sell items that they don’t want nor that they want to pass on nor that their spouse/partner wants to deal with.
  • Help them with research – of treatments or ways to sell items or benefits available to them.
  • Help them plan funeral or burial wishes.
  • Help them find legal help, if they express wishes in putting together a will or other legal documents.
  • Help them conquer their Bucket List.

Jayme is a wife to 1 and a mother to four little boys. She tries to coupon, builds a smart stockpile, and always meal plans. While she likes to cook, she’s in the stage of life where simple is usually better – she never knows how many hands she’ll have free at dinner time! You can find her at No Regrets Living.